It's In My Head

Woohooo

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:11:30 GMT

Clubbing tonight! Woohoooooo! I loves it. Okay, so I gotta eat dinner in a restaurant. Hopefully I'll be able to just get a salad and/or purge without affecting my UV-reactive make-up.

Then alchohol. Which is awesome. Fun times to be had. Ooooohhhhhh yeah. I like dancing. A lot. And tomorrow I will do something productive. Like tidy. And exercise. Mmmmm, must get a flat-ish stomach for holiday!

FFS

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:17:19 GMT

My life is officially at its worst in whatever. Normally the only thing that ws important to me was my academic work. But now I have a boyfriend, and not only is my academic work suffering, but so too is my relationship with my boyfriend.

I feel suicidal. And fat. I'm 2lbs over my 'acceptable' weight, the weight I always want to be, not a lb over, nor one less.

I need to get back into control. I need to do some more exercise.

I am so alone. If anyone's reading this, I'd appreciate the support. :((((((

Oh for FUCK'S SAKE

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 16:57:54 GMT

This has to be the biggest pile of shit I've ever come across.

Just a few points:
1. It doesn't matter how HUNGRY an anorexic is -- she won't eat unless she wants to!
2. It doesn't matter how much vitamin D and calcium you consume, unless you're menstruating, YOU'LL STILL SUFFER BONE DEPLETION YOU FUCKWITS.
3. Oh yeah, let's stick pins in my foot. That's really gonna make me realise that I need to put on forty pounds before I even have the right chemicals in my brain to sort out my life.

FUCKWITS. FUCKWITS. FUCKWITS.

The end.

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 10:59:27 GMT

Well, I think that eating junk food, even if I hormonally crave it, is a bad idea. At least for now and whilst I'm off the meds. Just ... acts as a trigger, and I want more even if I don't want more.

Last week my laxative weight was 102 lbs; today it was 104.5 lbs.

I've had alcohol the past three nights and it's my period. Fingers crossed it's only that, but nevertheless, I'm going to go back to my healthy controlled diet and exercise regime because, well, at least I'm not bingeing or being depressed then.

Today's goals:
1 hr walking (easy!);
Exercise DVD;
Eating fewer than 600 kcal;
Finishing my top.

Here goes!

I still can't believe it

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:02:38 GMT

The euphoria I felt when I realised I was only 8 stone was enough.

Today I found out I can fit into size 8 as though that is my actual size.

I feel like I'm walking across a tightrope and falling each step.